• Dedan K. Bruner

Patrick

Divorced

Father of 2

Nashville, Tennessee


I never want my daughters to grow up and have “daddy issues “ so I focus on being present in their lives. By present in mean consistent.

My children are the most important things to me. With this being said, this requires that many times I must make personal sacrifices. This isn’t to say that I give them any and every thing that they want. It’s more of a mindset as well as practice of making sure my words, actions and affection speak in a manner that gives them reassurance that they are loved and protected by their father.  This means being there for them emotionally as well financially. It means playing games, reading books or singing and dancing, even when I DON'T feel like it -I never want to be too tired for them.

Being a divorced dad isn’t easy. My former wife and I put a lot effort into co-parenting. I have a hard-set rule that I don’t not bring other women to my home. This is where my children live, and at this age, their mother is the most important person in their lives. By nature, they know that their mother doesn’t compete with them for my attention or affection. That is why ( at this age ) I do not want them to feel as if another woman in my life is or will compete for my attention. I really think this is an easy sacrifice to make until they emotionally mature a bit more.

Co-parenting.... do it the best way that you can. However it works for you.

Focus on the small things. They make a huge impact on your children’s lives. Cook together, dance and sing and be silly as often as you can. Play make believe every time they ask ( because one day they will never ask again ), watch the same movie over and over agin. Tell them funny stories about you when you where their age, let them make fun of you.

Read and ask advice on how to be a parent. It’s difficult to be a provider of all things emotional, financial , spiritual, and nurturing, but keep working to be better...

I keep these things in mind each and everyday: My tone and attention are far more important that anything financial than I can provide my children.

Many days you will have doubt. You will wonder if you’re doing something right. Just keep doing it brother. Because you only fail when you stop trying.

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