About On Fathering
When I learned I was going to be a father, I was scared. It did not matter that at 35, I was 14 years older than my mother was when she had me, or that I had always wanted to be a father. The fact remained, I had no clue what the role involved. At the time, I had two mentors. One, a single man who had recently adopted a newborn, the other, a married workaholic that struggled to balance his commitments to work and family. At work, I shared an office with three fathers. One was in his fifties when he and his wife adopted siblings who didn’t speak their language, another father was an active duty officer in the military who spent months at a time away from his wife and three kids. The third was a father of three, the eldest of which was challenged with autism.
Listening to real stories of stumbles and successes showed me that while our paths to fatherhood differed wildly, as fathers, we had more in common than I would have expected. Their stories and advice encouraged and still encourages me to be “all in” as a father. Their tips have become the "tools" in my imaginary fathering toolbox. Some tools, I hope to never use, others, I employ daily. It is my hope that On Fathering can be a venue for fathers to share their tips and tools. I hope that by reading the stories of a diverse group of fathers, we can not only see how alike we are, but more importantly, also add a tool or two to our own toolboxes along the way.
Sometimes it can be a challenge to separate who we are from what we do or have done. I will give it a shot. I am a Californian by birth, but I have lived, loved, and studied
(a bit) in Washington D.C. since 1994. I am an attorney by training but my passion is in the field of mediation. In 2005, I became a divorcee’ and in 2011 a father.
While I am a single dad, it is important to note that I, along with my daughter’s mother, work hard at co-parenting. Sometimes we even get it right…. I am passionate about fathering, both as a practice and a concept. My desire to grow and share insights and spotlights fatherhood rise from the fortunes and frustrations that I have encountered on this journey.